Indonesia

The rush of nostalgia is back.
I'm glad to be back in Singapore again. This would not be the usual reaction of a family on holiday overseas, i bet.
The words of the Lees resonated in me once i entered familiar territory.
It is only when one experiences the life outside of Singapore would one realise how fortunate he is.

Amidst the glory of its beautiful scenery and picturesque view of Mother Nature, Indonesia has nothing to offer. Drenched with the immense backdrop of corruption and politics, it's drudgery is revolting and downright disgusting. Trust is not to be taken for granted in the city of sins.

During our week-long vacation, we had trouble visiting various tourists destinations as we were halted by the security troops to conduct a "security check". We were told that we had to pay extra charges to visit scenic places of nature like the volcanoes and the panoramic highlands of Bandung (Jawa). If we had Indonesian passports, we only had to produce 20000 IDR but the figure multiplied tenfold (200000 IDR) per person once we flashed our gaudy Singaporean passports at the greedy money-grubbers.

What absurdity.

Furthermore, the traffic condition there is simply atrocious. Words themselves can't describe the preposterous sight of the multitudinous motorbikes flooding the roads. It is as if the traffic lights are just for display with no functional use. The blatant lack of order and governance makes my skin crawl. Unlike our civilised nation with lines and markings drawn on the tar-coated glistening roads, there is none there. Bikes simply scuttle around like blind cockroaches waiting for their doom to befall them. The drivers there are extremely skillful. They seem to have mutual telepathy on which lane to take and whether to swerve in the direction in order not to collide into the surrounding vehicles. Horns blare constantly. It is not a symbol of vehemence or annoyance like our country but horns are multi-purpose there. It is to insist on one's right of way, to warn, as a friendly gesture, to subjugate.

Traffic jams are ubiquitous and nothing to be shocked at. The average waiting time on the road is estimated to be about 2 to 3 hours in the event of a serious jam. Aunty B's husband claims that the resident in Indo spends his life toiling on the roads. There was once he had to trundle through the traffic for a whole night and finally reaching back home in the wee hours of the morning.

We were treated like royalty once we touched down at Soekarno-Hatto International Airport in Jakarta. My mum's childhood friend married an Indonesian Chinese and i must admit they are extremely prominent figures in the business realm over there. It shows in how they live, with numerous servants in their lavish mansion, coupled with armed guards patrolling the gates. I guess it is necessary given the poor security in that putrid place. Being devout Buddhists, the family owns a pagoda-styled private estate with marbled floors embellished with a myriad of idols and statues portraying Buddhists deities of all sorts. Proliferating artists impressions of majestic tigers lined the walls of the palace, evoking a sense of mystery and enigma.

Instead of being swatted at, flies are not taken to heed. These irritating creatures are dominating residents of the larders and food places there. Perhaps those disease-infested pests are the culprits of my food poisoning experience.

One consolating thing to report is that the standard of living there is quite low. Thus, goods and services are extremely worth it. Being typical Singaporeans, one can never resist the urge to shop for stuff. Bags, clothes, shoes, watches, glasses, coats, accessories you name it... Another thing to admire in the country is that people there are straightfoward and forthcoming. They usually do not have an agenda and the vendors are not scrupulous and thieving like the Ladies' Street in HK or bargain markets in China. They are open to negotiation and would usually not exploit you as a tourist. It is still acceptable to haggle a little but half the quoted price is a little overboard.

Overall, my trip there is just an appetiser. The entree is to be anticipated. The next vaycay would be to Japan and this time there would be much more exciting things to report. Stay tuned!

Arbitrary

There are 2 meanings of the word, "arbitrary".

The first meaning states that this word defines something to be random and based on personal whim or choice, not something that is frequently occurring. There is no specific reason or system for this particular course of action. Just like how the rain does not conform to the schedule or timing as predicted by the weather forecast, it is completely by chance thus it is an "arbitrary rain".
Perhaps the choice you need to make is erratic or very sudden, thereby not complying with carefully-thought out procedures, thus making it an "arbitrary decision".

Next, the word could also mean an unrestrained and autocratic rule of power or authority. For instance, we could say that the totalitarian rule of North Korean president Kim is arbitrary when sending citizens to be executed merely by defaming his name and reputation.

Severe deficit of funds

Just gonna clock in a quick update.

First things first, i feel like i'm trapped in an endless vacuum of monetary drain.
When reality hits you hard in the head, its that realisation where your sense of purpose in life is just a massive question mark, leaving you clueless and in a desperate loss.
The misdirection and helplessness isn't just an apparent myth.
It's at that crucial point in your life where you feel that all financial support (other than from your folks) is severely inadequate.

One, there's no monthly allowance from the SAF that feeds you and satisfy your exorbitant transport urges like private car-hire firms. This then leads you to deplete your savings from the past 1 year 10 months of national service that are also extremely meagre, simply put --- pathetic. On the other hand, i really do not want to be a parasitic pest to simply leech off my folks without contributing at least to the household chores.

To solve the above problem, there needs to be an avenue for cash to start streaming in to fund my months of existence before uni starts and also to provide for my freakishly expensive degree that has relatively poor prospects (other than in the public sector and being an obedient minion of the govt.)
Money woes are the worst kind of stress factor. It is bad enough that you stay on and make a mess at home, but to continually and gradually request for cash from your parents will be kind of a tragic scenario. Especially when people of your age are already starting families and moving out to venture on their own, albeit a little too young in the SEA context...

So many thoughts now im having quite a difficult time organising them.
To be or not to be, that is the question.
This struggle constantly plagues me, whether to be an educator or a writer. Needless to say, i still feel the invisible force pulling me towards teaching while I do feel strongly obliged to satisfy my writing whims. Not that i'm a proficient writer, neither do i have a flair for languages and explicitly sycophantic and intriguing topic sentences to attract readers. However i truly feel at ease reading and writing, cultivated from that tender age of elementary school i guess?

Still trying to figure out that aim in life, and all those philosophical and mandatory checkpoints in life. The conservative mindset of Asians and various expectations that we are somewhat forced to meet in our current society. This feels increasingly worrying and late night thoughts are swallowed by these subjects at hand I really am alone and apprehensive to my future and what with the prudent technology-driven industry (given that the degree i'm about to embark on is totally redundant and irrelavant), I guess it's really all up to fate and divine forces to add that gaiety of colours and embellish my life.
Evading is not a solution, hopefully literary knowledge and the embracing of language and communication could be espoused and more valued in the next decade?
Halcyon days are long over.

Enough Said (Movie Review)

So, i've just watched this movie, Enough Said, by Nicole Holofcener.
It's a comedy, some sort of a rom-com film and i thought that the plot was rather unique. Would recommend it to anyone who would want to spend some leisure time watching a light-hearted show that is a bit of a tear-jerker but not too overwhelming on the emotions. Completely watchable and absolutely not one of those sophisticated and complex mind-boggling box-office films by Dicarprio.

The whole plot dwells a lot on the fragility of human relationships.
Let me touch briefly on the flow of the movie. Basically, it revolves around the life of main character, Eva, a divorced single parent, who happens to also be a masseuse. She then meets another single parent, Albert, at a party and eventually built a romantic relationship with him. She admits that his looks were not exactly appealing to her at first, but goes on to describe how she finds him adorable and fun-loving after their first date. At that same party, Eva meets Marianne, a prospective client for her masseur services and their frequent appointments blossomed into a sturdy friendship as these sessions also functioned as a platform for Marianne to rant wildly about her ex-husband, whom she had divorced. The quirks and weird habits were common table-talk topics when chatting frivolously with Eva. Here comes the ironic bit: Marianne's ex-husband that she continually complained about was actually Albert (Eva's dating partner). It finally struck Eva when Marianne lamented about how she felt disgusted by the way he dabs and swipes on the guacamole while flicking the onions in the dip to one side and just scooping huge chunks of guacamole on the tacos, all the while criticising his unruly mannerisms, mirroring the ways of how her partner would function when there is a guacamole dip in the room. It turns out that she is at a complete dilemma when one party is a prospective love-partner while the other is also a strong contender: a valued customer and congenial friend that she would think twice losing.
The climax ensues when all three of them meet at Marianne's house and to the shock and disgust of Albert, he finally discovered the numerous repulsive behavior that Eva had displayed when having sex and spending time with him. The moment was a tragic one when fate dwelt such a blow on the protagonist, ending the two important relationships in her life, resulting in her losing the friendship and the relationship.
Sometimes, it is inevitable that such coincidences happen in reality and no doubt would it be a real struggle to handle the matter prudently. I really liked how the film reflects the actuality of our emotions and such awkward scenarios outside the theatrical threshold. Also, Eva tries hard to please everyone in the film but in fact, it backfired and dealt a painful punch back at herself. The distance between her daughter and herself strained further when she gave in to the needs of her daughter's friend, neglecting the feelings of her only child. By trying too hard to make everyone satisfied, she ended up miserable and alone. At the end, Eva decides to toughen up and make amends, by resolving the tension between Albert and herself. She then tries to be more resolute and decisive to cut herself some slack and voice out her thoughts more coherently, improving the volatility of her life and work eventually.

Truly a pleasant experience on a Good Friday, it won't be a disappointment to view the film.
Could promise a resounding 8/10!

Cafe Salivation

This afternoon, I went out for lunch with my cousin who had just been blissfully wedded to her prince charming. She's a vegetarian and I feel adventurous and rather excited everytime we try out something exquisite because people commonly mistake vegan or vegetarian food to be bland, tasteless or simply a dour, boring experience. However, today was another surprise for not only my taste-buds but also my perception of this genre of gourmet.

It so happened that I was browsing through the Internet and a little skeptical about this quaint little cafe she was talking about the other day we had lunch together, so I went to search for the reviews of the food and ambience there. Much to my surprise, it was actually featured in many top 10 articles of the best vegetarian places locally. Also, I stumbled upon this app called THE ENTERTAINER, which conveniently provided valuable and affordable deals for this particular cafe.

So, now we go on to the food.
The meal was really special as it felt like I was actually savouring meaty succulent delights. The lasagna that we ordered was fragrant and not too greasy. The cheese was a perfect texture as the baked pasta was neither too tough but also not too overcooked. The filling in the lasagna felt like an explosion of flavours as the sudden exuberance was not too cloying or overwhelming, this amazing sensation actually simulated the wafting moisture of actual meat but without the guilt of slaughtering an actual fowl or poultry.
Next, the side dish was vegetable croquette. The initial bite was crunchy and crisp as the batter didn't feel thick or too tough to bite on. Normally, a popiah at the nearby coffeehouse or the standard potato croquette might be a little heavy because of the intensity of the flavoured ingredients. This dish had neither of that feel but the vegetables in the croquettes were refreshing and very versatile, like a myraid of flavours bursting altogether.
Truly an eye-opening experience and would definitely visit this place again in the future.
.

Lunar New Year

初二。

It's yet another year of the essential chinese tradition of visiting the elders and meeting overzealous relatives. With every year passing by, it somehow feels like we're all stuck in limbo, an endless loop that regurgitates every ounce of boredom. Its repetitive cycle is endless, nauseating or even with excruciating misery. At its zenith, it feels like a drab, a dreary chore.

Perhaps it does not only apply to myself, but also these people. The annual event of sucking up to these sycophants, unusually inquisitive all of a sudden. Why the sudden interest in my routine, my life, my hobbies? As if i would be obliged to incite your appetite for further questioning. Curiosity kills the cat. Ever heard of it?
Is this out of concern or merely just an attempt to spark that very pathetic bit of conversation?

Don't mind my ranting, sorry for the pessimism.

Well, on the bright side, at least there is the incentive of angbao collection...

A Clockwork Orange (Book Review)

This post consists of my thoughts and opinions of this literary masterpiece by Anthony Burgess.

Basically, the book is a thoughtful and insightful read albeit its fairly short length (a novella).
It narrates the life of a sociopathic teenager with extremely violent and sexual tendencies. He then gets into trouble with the law and is incriminated with these out-of-control criminals preying on his young flesh, but soon takes control of the situation and create even further chaos in jail. Driven by the will to change his psychotic streaks and behavior, the government then comes up with a program to change him for the better.

Burgess leads the prose by setting a relatively high benchmark: the creator of words he calls NADSAT. The reason why i had a hard time getting through this book is mainly because of this new language he coined out of nowhere. (I wouldn't say nowhere as it has some russian origins and made-up words). This form of diction that he has weaved out symbolises the age of how teenagers communicate. It is as if the commonality and shared experience of growing-up has a common tongue to be spoken within the inner circles of youth that the novel must encompass a large part of. Another reason why nadsat is used here is because of the massively graphic imagery portrayed by the narrator, Alex. It is then used to quell the intensity of the mature scenes. The Clockwork Orange is also nadsat for The Mechanical Human when translated into modern day english. This illustrates that a bulk of the novel would be revolving around the oppression of the people just like a mechanical being, controlled by the state and politics.

Common themes in this book encompass around youth violence and chaos, the issue of control (be it the individual obtaining power or an authoritarian state), suppression of the individual in a dystopian society and lastly the betrayal of relations. In a whole, i feel that the main purpose of the story is to lead the reader through a journey of self-awakening and maturity as the plot slowly unravels to depict the stages of Alex gaining a step further to attaining a certain level of maturity, thereby charting his growth. In the novel, Alex "tolchoks" the characters quite frequently and inflicts fear through violence. He assumes power via physical abuse and sometimes raping his victims. He feels that "starry vecks" are rather loathesome and tends to classify his victims into the elderly and "ptitsas" (girls), perhaps because of their vulnerability. Alex and his "droogs" would go out in the night and hunt for victims and sometimes to steal money from residential estates and shophouses. He often gets away by bribing the "babooshkas" to be his alibis and cover up for his misdeeds. Also, power is often transferred via bullying when the 'droogs' of Alex later got employed as "millicents" and drove Alex to a secluded place just to brutally attack him. Power is now in the hands of his "droogs" when they inflict physical harm onto him instead of before his incarceration where he called the shots and was the leader of the gang.

On one of the nights, he finally got betrayed by his gang of friends and is incarcerated. He then becomes a tool for the state to experiment on. Burgess named it the "Ludovico Method" which is an astute wordplay of Ludovico Einaudi, a renowned pianist. Since Alex is a fan of classical music and especially Mozart's works. This method involved forcefully prying Alex's eyes open to witness murderous scenes of violence and torturous rape scenes to induce absolute guilt in him, relying on the empathetic instincts of human beings to cringe and attacks the natural instinct of his brain to be repelled by these images and to restrict his nature to do those exact actions. This the leads us to question whether is this really a humane form of experimentation. The irony in this context is that in order to treat Alex of his violent nature, the state has to succumb to inducing extreme violence to stop his belligerence. The treatment itself actually causes unease and extreme discomfort instead of allaying and curing his bestial qualities. This "subliminal penetration" is actually a form of political propaganda, with the government using him as a tool to gain the people's trust and to keep the streets safe again. After the experiment, the effect would then leech onto the suffering of Alex to lay foundation to a more conducive environment for the citizens.

Much of the novella's purpose is to hold a didactic message and that is the maturity of the protagonist to reach adulthood. The frequent reference to milk is to emphasise on the 'toddler-like' quality of this age of teenagers. The "Korova Milkbar" induces a childlike quality of the gangsters, thereby showing that they do not have the capacity to act like adults and make prudent decisions for themselves yet. At the end, Alex finally feels the need to throw his nadsat identity away and shrug away the familiarity of being immature and reckless where he met his 'droog' Pete who announces that he is settling down with his wife and getting married. The most obvious transition from adolescence to adulthood is the dismissal of nadsat speak. The speech patterns soon begin to turn normal and the moral direction of the individual is more focused with a life goal in mind, not mindlessly causing trouble in the streets. This transition of course, does not come easy as the main character passes through many milestones of his awakening phase. He experiences the betrayal of entities (his friends and the mistrust in the state) and then experiences guilt and remorse when the past goes back to haunt him. An instance would be him accepting kindness from the stranger whose wife him and his droogs brutally attacked and raped. He inadvertently becomes the victim instead of the man, recognising his savior from his savage misdemeanor earlier on in the text. As quoted from Burgess, "Being young is like being one of these malenky machines", he actually breaks free from his reins of being a "clockwork orange" and attains freedom through growing up.

So, "What's it gonna be then, eh?" seems to be occuring a couple of times throughout the book and this "O, my brothers" would be Alex's way of reassuring himself that he is still not losing touch with his humanity as he questions this sanity but at the same time feels clueless about what he is about to embark on thereby asking a rhetorical question to engage his readers and to constantly engage his troubled mind.

All in all, it was a remarkable experience with this novella and it would be a necessity for all (be it a classics reader or not) to feel the sensation of a Burgess dystopia for yourself and bring up topics for discussion. 3.9/5

2017

It has been centuries since i last wrote a blog post.
Well, strike it off, not only just blog posts but just literally anything that involves the workings of the modern mind and the intricacies of literature. National service has been a real pain in the ass and I'm really glad, or so to say, relieved that it is about to come to a temporal hiatus (that is if you factor in the indefatigable cycles of reservice) *glares despondently at a distance*
2016 has been a rather stagnant year for me i guess?
Given that the only major event that has been revolving consistently around me is the Singapore Armed Forces, oh wow what a surprise...
Considering that, i feel that messed up a couple of things real bad in 2016...
Like the SAF Driving Test and erm, well my friendships?
Haven't been really keeping track of the progress of my so called "social life", sometimes i wonder if i even qualify as a social being.
These circles of friends are seemingly growing more and more distant. It's like a labyrinth, spiralling away the monumental pact that you've met since the first time friendship bonds were forged. Just that this maze lingers away whatever pittance you have that is left.
I worry for my future, my career prospects and my university course.
Let's just say that the A levels didn't do me justice. It wasn't a complete disaster but it did set me off quite a bit.
Supposedly i am to read up frequently on current affairs and be familiar with the mechanics of social interactions interweaving between politics and society and economics to be well prepped for the 3 years of pursuing my bachelors, but procrastination sticks.
ok so its time for me to announce my new year resolution(s) for 2017, here it goes.

1. Get my driving license.

This would be the top of the list for not only myself but i believe many of individuals in my cluster of friends and age group. Well, it is not uncommon for the majority of teenagers all over the world to want this. Like a rite of passage, i guess it is essential and very salient even in this age (what with auto-driven cars and cutting edge tech to implement these cars for Uber and Grab). A common zeitgeist encompassing the millennials i suppose, too.
And also to have an asset to transcend transport woes.

2. Prioritize my fitness regime

Ok, this would be the main theme for many of the locals here, its a common trend i believe. Weight issues have been plaguing me since the start of puberty and i have been neglecting this. It has been a complete fiasco with just all the empty talk and no actions taken. It's time to get commited.

3. Sort out my friendships

Time to take more initiative and not neglect my friends and loved ones. Be punctual for meetups and not be a douche :P

4. Consider my desired uni course

To seriously sit down and plan my future and invest time to consider my ambitions, passion and drive. Its a large faculty and i need to organise my thoughts on what to embark on. (expectations vs reality) (financial gains vs satisfaction and prospectus of mood)

So, let's hope 2017 will be an enriching one.
Hope it doesn't disappoint like how 2016 does with Trump, Brexit, ISIS and death of many celebrities, and i still desire for world peace (even though its practically impossible).

CIAO.